Sunday, October 18, 2009

This Bat Mitzvah Brought to you By...

The Papparazzi was present, along with a few select brands at Nancy O Dell's Daughter's Birthday Party. Star Jones was the poster bride for sponsored weddings. And now, not to be outdone, we have my oldest daughter's Bat Mitzvah.

Oh sure, I'm no celeb. But according to at least one site you don't have to be a celebrity to seek out sponsors. You can do it if you're even a little bit famous, cough cough. Like say... a blogger.

I've yet to personally embrace the whole "Sponsored Blogger" trend* but lets face it folks. Bat Mitzvahs are expensive. There's the private helicopter that delivers you to the reception, the troupe of break dancers that do lap dances for your great uncle if you pay them extra, the fireworks, the cherries flambe atop the ice sculpture atop the river of chocolate surrounded by the ice cream & candy buffet. Plus it all has to be Kosher. Do you know how expensive kosher "Shrimp" Cocktail is these days?

Fortunately for my daughter, I am an eagle eyed trendwatcher. I see the way personal blogs are going to the big brand dawgs, and thus I am finally seeing a solution for the whole "how to pay for the Bat Mitzvah" issue. I've discussed it with my darling tween daughter. I wisely made sure to get her fresh off an episode of My Super Sweet 16. Together, we have decided to open up this Simcha for Swagcha.

Can you see it now? This reception is not only a family get together. It is a fabulous marketing opportunity. Sponsors not only have a chance to reach out to and brush elbows with illustrious and diversely Jewish relatives like Uncle Dave, Aunt Ellen and Cousin Jon, they have a chance to make their Bat Mitzvah sponsor awesomeness known across the entire blogosphere. Here's a few scenarios:

1. Kedem can sponsor the ceremonial wine and provide large bunches of grapes for the buffet backdrop. Out of deference to the temple, they can also provide decorative/branded airsickness bags in the restrooms for the inevitable: that an unknowing teen or alcoholic relative snags more than a few extra shots and find themselves second guessing that decision.

2. Manischewitz can bring in some artists to construct a giant matzah diorama of the Old City of Jerusalem on one side of the dais and do a spray painted matzah Jewish Star walk of fame (provided we can solve the debate over whether Marilyn M was or was not a MOT) thus merging our daughters love of tradition with her desired theme of Hollywood glam.

3. We could never leave out Rokeach, so we'd ask them to contribute all the candles we'll be needing. They haven't been getting a lot of social media attention lately, possibly due to the fact that aside from sabbath candles, their bread and butter comes from candles sold to honor the dead. We'd like to help bring new life to their company by running a contest amongst our readers for the most clever reuse of the glass containers (juice cup anyone?). Winner gets the privilege of getting a mention by our Rabbi and chance to light one of the candles in our family candle lighting ceremony.

Let's face it. We're going to need more than matzoh and wine to make this reception truly memorable though. Goodmans, Entennmans, Wissotzky, you're all invited to break (and supply) bread with the mishpucha. But why stop there? We're also looking for a fine Jewish hot air balloon company, lighting, special effects and of course, performers (Note: Jo Bros, we'll make you honorary Jew Bros for the day if you'll don kippot). No idea is too crazy to consider. Sure no one is getting married here, but if you have a solid milk chocolate chupa that you want to highlight, let's talk.

When it comes to our little princess, no party detail is too outrageous to consider. Weddings may come and go, but she's only going to have one Bat Mitzvah.

And that's our pitch. Don't like it? We'll take cash instead.

* Disclaimer: Yes, fine, that was me passing out organic cough syrup at Blogher, my one claim to personal sponsorship fame. But honestly, it was practically a public service. People were coughing. They needed it.


Kim Tracy Prince said...

That party sounds like it'll have the best swag bag evah. You should also pitch it to security companies.

Angry Julie Monday said...

Even though I'm not Jewish, I will help you...where do I send my monies..Is there a Paypal account?

Can I get a button to put on my blog? :)

Eli's Lids said...

Ha!! I hope I'm invited... I've been a fan of Aunt Ellen for years!!

Beth said...

Oy vey - this is hilarious. I think that one special guest blogger should also receive a free getaway to Bat Mitzvah blogging event would be complete without a major giveaway! :)