Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Girl Crush, Crashed

Goddess on the school blacktop
Burning like a silver flame
Show me the beauty and love

and XXXX was her name

From day one, the new mom in my daughter's class was hard to miss. Not as if she was trying to be ignored. At six ft tall, with supermodel long (and thin) limbs, she was hard to miss.

Being a mom can be boring. The predicable PTA meetings, the mommy cliques that bring us all back to jr high. The brand names have changed but we still dress alike to declare our social allegiance. Tribe Birkenstock warily eyes the members of Tribe Chanel Sunglasses.

But then she showed up. And to top it off, her goddess name. Bold. Unusual. Not trying even a little to fit in. She eats Amys and Jennifers for breakfast and tops em off with Summers and Aprils. At dusk she spits out their bones on the school's front lawn. I like her.

For the first month of school, each day at dropoff, the Goddess graced us with her get ups. Micro mini and furry stilletto boots. Feather earrings that grazed her skinny shoulderblades. Leather vests with tube tops beneath. All the better to see the tattoos dusting her back and shoulders. More! More! More! cried the mommies, and probably more than a few of the daddies as well. Finally, something other than a bake sale and parking lot traffic to talk about.

Honestly her big hair and layers of liquid eyeliner brightened my day so. I was afraid to have a conversation with her and let it get in the way of my admiration from afar. I text messaged friends daily to report on Goddess attire. They begged me to get a photo. I was a little tempted to ask her permission, which would require chatting, or worse, to snap a shot on the sly. Which would make me a renegade, by disassociation. Mom behaving badly. Just guessing what she'd turn up in today was thrill enough. My daughters played along too. They were more than a little wistful that I couldn't pull off four inch heels and leather skinny jeans. It was almost a bonafide girlcrush - family style. Until the day I saw her getting into her car.

The horror! The betrayal.The Kia minivan.

Goddess how could you!? Does Heidi Klum shop at Walmart? Does Giselle Bundchen hang out at Sizzler? I'm shattered. My girl crush has crashed. The object of my affection has toppled off the mountain top and landed flat on her suburban ass, in a minimall.

And we still need a fix for the parking lot traffic. I say we ban Kia minivans.


Crista Makdouli said...

Oooh. Our school's mom-crush drives a Honda Odyssey.

Not a Kia.

Still a minivan.


Anonymous said...

Is it the fact she drives a minivan or a Kia or both that crushed the crush?

I hope its the make and not the model, as I hate to think I've no chance at being the subject of someone's school run crush, just because I drive a minivan!

Momfluential said...

I think I would have forgiven her had it been a tricked out VW Routan, or better yet an old VW van. An Odyssey (such as my own) would have been a stretch. But an old battered Kia? It's over.

Kreative Mama said...

LMAO! love it! thanks for the laugh to end a really rough day!!

Andrea said...

Hysterical. Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks like that.